


you got me some type of way (ain't used to feeling this way)

by transbuck



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Unhappy Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-07
Updated: 2019-04-07
Packaged: 2020-01-06 03:40:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,123
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18380222
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/transbuck/pseuds/transbuck
Summary: Buck lets himself have Eddie for just a moment.





	you got me some type of way (ain't used to feeling this way)

**Author's Note:**

> hi, did yall order some angst w a sad ending? no? tough  
> i had this idea.... some time ago. i feel like i might have had it this morning but like... dont quote me on that  
> anyway um! heres a lil ol scenario that i could Totally see happening in the show. in fact, i can very clearly see the beginning part of this fic In the show, yknow?  
> anyway, enough of my useless yammering. im on tumblr @diazbuckley. now sit down and strap in, dont hate me too much

Buck struggles to catch his breath as Eddie's pulling out of him and flopping down on the bed next to him. Buck rests his hands on his stomach, and he can't help the goofy grin that spreads across his face. He's a little in shock right now as he lays on his back in Eddie's bed with the sheets lazily drawn over both of their waists. His eyes are shut as he focuses on the sound of Eddie's own heavy breathing and the warmth radiating from him. Buck almost can't believe he slept with  _Eddie_. He slept with the man he's been hopelessly in love with for months. His  _best_ friend. His... very married best friend who also has a kid.

Holy shit, Buck just slept with a man who's married to someone else.

"Fuck!" Buck shouts, sitting up quickly. He feels Eddie jolt a little from next to him. "Fuck, fuck, fuck, oh God, I fucked up," he mumbles to himself, rushing to throw the sheets off of himself and throwing his legs over the side of the bed. He hastily makes his way around the room, frantically searching for his clothes. "Dammit, where the hell is my underwear?" he mutters worriedly.

"They're right here," Eddie says from behind him. Buck turns, sees Eddie holding his boxers, and he quickly snatches them and pulls them on. "What the hell are you doing?"

"I have to go," Buck says, hurriedly collecting his clothes that have been strewn around the room. "I can't... I just... I have to go." Buck sits on the edge of the bed as he pulls his jeans. He tries not to freak out too hard about the fact that he's practically a homewrecker now. He'll properly panic as soon as he gets into his car.

"Buck, just... Calm down," Eddie says. Buck feels the bed shift from behind him, and he jolts a little when suddenly Eddie's right behind him, a hand on his shoulder. "What's going on? I thought you were having a good time."

"I  _was_ , which makes it even  _worse_ ," Buck replies urgently. He shrugs Eddie's hand off of his shoulder and stands up, pulling his jeans up the rest of the way. He turns toward Eddie now. "Eddie, we shouldn't have done this.  _This_ ," he gestures between the two of them before zipping and buttoning his jeans. "Can't happen. It  _shouldn't_ have happened. And I'm sorry, but I just... I have to go."

"Buck, what in the hell are you talking about?" Eddie asks incredulously.

"You're  _married_ ," Buck says as he quickly pulls his shirt on over his head. "I'm the  _other man_ now. And  _you_ cheated on your wife. I just... We can't do this. We have to go back to what we were before."

"You had your dick in my mouth earlier tonight and you expect us to go back to being just friends?" Eddie asks. Buck blushes furiously at that, focuses on putting his belt on. "Buck, just get back in the damn bed."

" _No_!" Buck insists. He looks back up at Eddie now with wide, desperate eyes. "Listen. I like you. I mean, obviously, I'm the one who kissed you earlier. And I  _wish_ I could have you. I want that more than anything. But you're  _married_. And you... Your wife is a really nice woman. And you have a beautiful family with her and Christopher. Who the hell am I to just waltz right in there and screw everything up just because I want to be able to call you mine? I don't want to be a homewrecker, Eddie."

"You're not a homewrecker, Buck."

"Oh, please explain to me how I'm not a homewrecker, even though I had sex with a man who has a family with someone who is  _not_ me, a family that I probably just fucked up."

Eddie sighs deeply. "Buck, just sit down for a second."

"No, tell me how the hell I'm not a—"

"Can you just sit down? Please. You need to calm down. Sit."

Buck huffs and sits down on the edge of the bed after grabbing his shoes. Refusing to look at Eddie, Buck busies himself by pulling his shoes on.

Eddie sighs and shuffles over to Buck's side, holding the sheets tightly against himself. "Our home was already wrecked long before tonight, Buck. At least, I think it was. I just can't seem to feel happy or— or fulfilled when I'm with Shannon. But I feel happy when I'm with you, Buck."

Buck's breath hitches a little, and he almost gives in. He almost strips down again and get right back into bed with Eddie, maybe even have sex with him again. But he can't. Eddie's still married, no matter how hard he tries to convince Buck to stay. "I have to go," Buck finally says quietly, glancing at Eddie out of the corner of his eyes, catching the way Eddie's face falls. "You're still married, Eddie. Whether or not you're happy right now with her doesn't matter. You have a wife, who you just cheated on just because I'm selfish and want you all to myself. I'm sorry, I really am, but I have to go. We can't do this.  _I_ can't do this. We just... We have to go right back to being just friends, okay? This can't happen again, and we have to pretend like it didn't happen in the first place."

"Buck..." Eddie trails off a little. "I'm sorry."

Buck huffs, shakes his head to himself. He stands up now that both of his shoes are on and tied. "No, Eddie, I'm sorry," he says quietly.

"Just... Please, Buck. Stay." Buck frowns at the pleading, almost desperate tone in Eddie's voice.

"I can't, Eddie. I'm sorry, I really am, but I just can't," Buck murmurs, hands fidgeting a little. Seeing Eddie look borderline heartbroken makes Buck really want to say "fuck it" and stay. He wants nothing more than to get back into bed and just hold Eddie tightly and tell him he won't leave unless he makes him. But guilt has settled deep in his stomach, making him feel incredibly queasy, and the only thing that's going to fix that is leaving. Leaving and going on a meaningless drive just to clear his head and  _forget_ tonight, as much as he doesn't want to. He wants to keep tonight in his mind forever, wants to keep this memory for any future nights that are particularly lonely, but he knows that if he keeps those memories, he'll be desperate for a chance to recreate it. After another moment and a slow, deep breath, Buck turns and leaves the room, despite his mind screaming at him to stay.


End file.
